To me, self-love is such an important thing a lot of people lack. We often don’t realize how low our self-love is. Personally, I have been trying more and more to love myself. The beauty of self-love is that the more you learn to love yourself the more love you can give to others.
To be honest, I am a work in progress, but I have been doing my best on improving this very important aspect of my life. Learning to love yourself more is also an important step in boosting your confidence and growth as a human being.
But let’s be clear there is a difference between loving yourself and being selfish and arrogant. To love yourself is to appreciate and respect yourself, while also being able to love and respect others.
I want to share with you how I learned to love myself more and how I’m still learning too.
1. Accept your differences
When we grow up, we see so many standards around us that are being portrayed as the right way to be. Society places stamps on what is normal. We see celebrities around us and are being thought that being a certain way is the only right way. But that’s not true. We are all different and unique human beings and we need to accept that in order to love ourselves.
For example, I’m quite an introvert, and growing up, I wanted to be outgoing like others because, in my mind, that’s what people wanted from me. To be outgoing and be able to mingle with everyone. So when I couldn’t be that way, I really disliked myself for being ‘like that’. But eventually, I realized, that this is just the way I am and the right people will like and love me for that.
So I stopped forcing myself to be like others, embraced myself like I am and I felt happier with who I am and how I am, and that helps me to love myself more.
2. See your ‘curses’ as blessings
The word curse may be a strong one but bear with me for a sec. I’ll explain it.
We all have characteristics we sometimes don’t like. And we often think why am I like this? We start seeing a certain feature of our character as a bad thing. Sometimes it is, and we do need to change that, I’ll get on that subject soon.
But there is a thin line between having bad character traits and having a character trait that I am blessed with and can help me to become who I am supposed to be.
I’ll give you yet another example. I’m an over-thinker. I didn’t like this about myself, because I could never just sit and let my mind completely rest, I would always be fantasizing about some weird scenario or I would make up the worst-case scenarios in my head, from just one simple moment.
At some point in my life, I started to look at this trait of mine as a gift. I thought, what if I actually use it. I wanted to see what I could accomplish by using it as a blessing and a gift and just like that I decided to put my fantasies on paper and I wrote my first book. I realized what my passion was and it helps me to explore my talents.
So I stopped disliking something about myself and started appreciating and loving it, which helped me to improve my self-love.
3. Face your issues
Earlier I mentioned bad character traits. I like to call them issues. These are the things in our personality that are just plain wrong or toxic. Neither you nor anybody else can benefit from them.
Sometimes we are very aware of them, but choose to ignore them or don’t really try to change them. Other times we don’t really notice them but the people who care about us (I’m coming back to this in the next point) might tell us and if it’s true and if we are honest to ourselves, we do notice them eventually.
Now if we are aware of these issues, we might dislike ourselves because of them. But I need you to stop doing that. You need to realize no one is perfect and we all have issues. You should dislike those issues, not yourself, and do something about them. Try very actively to change them. But, if you can’t do this on your own, go to someone you trust or a specialist to help you face and work on these issues.
4. Stay away from people who always put you down
In the previous point, I mentioned people who care about us and tell us about bad character traits we don’t see. I’m stressing the fact that it’s people who care about us because there is a difference in people telling you things out of love and care for you instead of people who are just constantly putting you down.
Some people will make it a habit of them to make you feel bad about yourself, constantly telling you how you’re not doing something right, in a way to make you feel bad about yourself.
Acting like your opinion about something is stupid or invalid. It might be because they’re intimidated by you or just because they are negative people.
Stay away from them, you really don’t need people to make you feel bad about yourself, but people who care about you, accept and love you for who you are, and want to help you change where necessary.
5. Get to know yourself
Now for the last step. Get to know yourself. It’s hard to love someone you don’t know. Get to know your talents what you love and what you’re passionate about.
We often are trying to fit into other people’s expectations, forgetting that we are our own person with different needs and passions. The more you know who you are and what drives you in life, the more you can embrace and love the person that you are.
Take a personality test, find out what your hobbies are, explore your talents, and just love you!
And that’s a wrap. Those were my simple tips on improving self-love. I hope that they are useful and that they can help you to love yourself more and more each day.